Friday, September 24, 2004

Best of Benn

The City Paper's Best of Baltimore party is usually a night of drinky hijinks for winners of BOB and basically anybody else who can snag an invite.

Held at the Belvedere, on the 12th and 13th floors, the line for the elevator snakes around the lobby about a dozen ways, with the wait being at least half an hour long. Every year people try to use the stairs (can't) and every year there are fights because some people don't believe in standing in line like everyone else (because they won Best of Baltimore, dammit. They're special!).

This is Benn's favorite part of the party. You get to watch people, see who got dressed up, how they dressed up, and wonder what category they had won, if they had indeed won anything.

So after waiting for almost an hour, and after way too many people had cut in line, the people around us were all getting pretty fed up.

That's when I noticed two ladies standing right in front us who hadn't been there a minute ago. I motioned to Benn. And that's when the party started.

Benn asked them to get to the back of the line. The crowd, on the edge and having a couple of party gals to take it out on, circled around. The gals pretended ignorance, "We didn't know we did anything wrong and now everyone is yelling at us!" No one was buying it. A gentlemen behind us, said to the ladies, "You expect a certain level of decorum!"

But the gals were adamant about being there "the whole time."

"I guess when you're the Hilton sisters you don't need to wait in line like the rest of us," Benn said, and then, louder, announced to the lobby, "HILTON SISTERS!! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE HILTON SISTERS!"

There was a smattering of applause.

"Ew!!!!" One of the gals made a face and raised her hands up as if Benn had splattered something on her. "You're an asshole! You're an asshole!"

But they finally left. The mood had lifted. People behind us were pleased to be in line after Benn. We were almost at the elevator.

But these people had somehow snuck in front of me. Don't think I didn't notice.

I just didn't care at this point and didn't want another fight.

The elevator ride is always extremely unpleasant. If you've never suffered from claustrophobia this is your chance to get a true taste.

You start hearing the bass of the music around floor 10. When the doors open you're ready to get a drink. It's always a good idea to get 2 drinks at a time or else you'll be spending all your time in line.

While it's a fun night, I'm constantly looking out for the "Hilton Sisters" because you know that drama ain't over.

Party, party, party...and then it's time to go. And guess who's super drunk and ready for another round? Ladies and gentlemen, the "Hilton Sisters"!

They spot Benn and start fighting all over again.

"You're so rude! You called us the Hilton Sisters! We don't even like them!"

Benn tried to make nice, "It wasn't an insult. A lot of people find the Hilton sisters attractive. But your boobs, those can't be real."

This was a challenge that the really blonde one couldn't let pass.

She[fire in her eyes]:They are real! You want to touch them?!
Benn[making sure I'm there with my camera]: Um no, but you could show them to me .
She: Ok, but you have to touch them so you know they're real!


And then somehow, after that challenge was won, she felt better about Benn. And then, magically, they all became friends.


And then it became a theme for the rest of the night.

At the Spy Club:

With Martino

On the street with random people:


A verdict on the oxygen bar:

Geoff say nay


1 comment:

al said...

Haha...hil-friggin-larious! That party always sums up what the City Paper is- lame-o wanna be hipsters trying desperately to get free drinks- yet, when offered free tix to the event, I can't resist going. This year myself and a lady friend got there to see the pathetic cattle call in the lobby and went straight to the Owl Bar for the duration. The Owl Bar, it should be noted, is always a better bet for loser watching. I witnessed a handful of movie producer-looking-types trying to pick up on the bartenders, who are two super cynical and cool young ladies. Yay Sh@tty Paper! (yeah, I m jealous I didn't make it into "the show," haha)